:: Birthdates of the players::

Ozzy: Dec 3, 1948*.
Sagittarius (strong Capricorn influence)
Ruling Card: 2 of Diamonds

Sharon: Oct 9, 1952*.
Libra (4 planets in Libra with a fixed T Square configuration)
Ruling Card: K of Clubs

Aimee: Sept 2, 1983 @ 3:30 PM.
Virgo, Moon: Cancer, Sagittarius Rising (strong Leo/Sagittarius influence)
Ruling Card: 9 of Diamonds

Kelly: Oct 27, 1984 @ 8:00 PM.
Scorpio, Moon: Sagittarius, Gemini Rising (strong Sagittarius/Capricorn influence, an intensely focused "bundle" type chart)
Ruling Card: 8 of Hearts

Jack: Nov. 8, 1985 @9:20 PM.
Scorpio, Moon: Virgo, Cancer Rising (strong Libra/Sagittarius influence)
Ruling Card: Q of Clubs


Show Debut: March 5, 2002 @ 10:30 PM
Pisces, Moon: Sagittarius, Scorpio Rising.
Ruling Card: 5 of Spades

*No birth times available for Ozzy and Sharon; Children born in London. Ozzy’s bio says Birmingham in the morning.

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Part One: Star Signs of the Times

:: Why The Osbournes? Why now? ::

"The Osbournes" debuted on the East Coast of The United States on March 5, 2002 @ 10:30 PM EST. The horoscope for the airing of the first show vividly describes how and why this "real life series" has become the cultural phenomenon that it is.

In many ways, The Osbournes is a 21st century combination of "All in the Family" and PBS’s "An American Family", arriving on the Saturn Return of both early 1970’s shows. "An American Family" featured a seemingly typical American family, The Louds, and was the very first in Reality TV. Both were breakthrough programs, revolutionary for their time, and instrumental in society becoming more aware of itself and its dark side through television. Appearing to be fine and normal at first, The Loud family let us in, and then came apart before our very eyes.

The Osbournes may very well do the opposite and come together.

The Osbournes debuted with the Sun in Pisces, the sign associated with the soul itself. Piscean rulership includes music, transcendence, drugs, dreams, alcohol, confusion and escapism. Psychology, compassion, film, fantasy and dance all fall under Pisces, as does the theme of sacrifice. Christianity is the religion of the Piscean Age (ever hear of the loaves and the fishes?) The Piscean range of experiences is the all-encompassing range of humanity itself.

From wipeout to comeback, the dregs to redemption, Pisces describes the depths of despair and the over the top joy of revival. The Sun in Pisces on March 5 was accompanied by the placement of Venus in creative and empathetic Pisces and Mars in stubborn Taurus, as well as Saturn in Gemini (sibling karma galore), insuring plenty of mea culpas, angst and agida to make for compelling viewing. The challenging placement of the moon (symbolizing Mama) in Sagittarius in a tight aspect to Pluto (and Saturn) talk about the significance of valuing the mother, mother’s transformation, her health and very survival becoming a major theme in the show, but more on that later.

Other telling planetary placements for this debut date include: Mars in Taurus ("I won't budge an inch") = plenty of fights and holding firm to one’s position, Mercury in Aquarius =brilliant ideas emanating from their four walls, ones which get the culture talking and thinking, Jupiter in Cancer = family means everything, the group's true religion is devotion to family (bet they checked with an astrologer to begin on this auspicious placement); Saturn in Gemini =strife and struggle between siblings, forced to work through difficult issues with brothers and sisters, the words don’t come easy, must perfect communication. Unpredictable Uranus at the part of the chart dealing with the home talks about constant upheaval inside, likely redecorating/ feng shui-ing for health, and a possible change of residence. This chart suggests nothing short of the Deification of (family) Dysfunction.

Interesting too, is that this show comes on the heels of 9/11, less than 6 months after the deadliest attack on the US in history. Astrologically, these events may be more connected than we think. Both symbolize the death of innocence and foretell of a new awareness.

First, Let’s discuss the role of an important outer planet, Pluto. In mythology, Pluto rules the underworld. In astrology, he is the lord of death and rebirth, sex, power, and the darker less conscious side of life. In a horoscope, Pluto points to where we experience our hidden selves, our greatest horror, deepest intensity, and most profound transformations. With Pluto, there’s plenty of compulsion and no control. Pluto is a slow moving "generational" planet. Baby Boomers Ozzy and Sharon have Pluto in Leo (the "me" generation). First born, Aimee is a Virgo with Sagittarius rising. She was born when Pluto was at the tail end of the sign of Libra. By the time siblings Kelly and Jack were born, (Kelly arrived a scant 14 months later), Pluto had changed signs going from Libra into Scorpio and therefore these siblings have a different sensibility. This could partially explain Aimee’s reluctance to participate in the show thus far. Both Kelly and Jack are among the first of the intense Pluto in Scorpio generation to come of age (those born 1984-95). A word to the wise: Don't mess with them.

Since 1995, Pluto has been traveling through the sign of Sagittarius, signaling the death and eventual rebirth in the spheres of religion, education, courts, politics, law, media, journalism, and international affairs. The aforementioned arenas and their institutions have all experienced turmoil and destruction. With the recent onslaught of revelations about sexual abuse, the Catholic Church is in trouble; there have been several murderous outbreaks in schools such as the ones in Littleton, Carrollton, Santana and in Erfut, Germany. Who better than the Osbournes to mirror the dysfunction and destruction all around us, giving us an opportunity to relate, understand it and maybe even fix it?


:: Players’ Guide ::

Daddy O:
Ozzy Osbourne is a Sagittarian with his ruling planet Jupiter in the sign of Capricorn. This is a combination with the uplifting potential of a lead balloon. Sagittarius is the sign that looks for meaning and tries to define God. Jupiter wants to be jovial, unlimited and free. Placed in Capricorn, fun comes with a heavy pricetag and one’s inner God is very judgmental and demanding, hence "Black Sabbath". Clearly we can say that Ozzie personifies the rage and rebellion we all occasionally feel towards a wrathful God, but rarely have the guts to express it. He does it for us. His moon and Mars in Capricorn suggest his need and appreciation of a very strong and business-minded woman that he can depend on. Sagittarians are philosophers and storytellers. They are often priests, sportsmen, hunters and pop singers. Other famous musical archers include: Frank Sinatra, Bette Midler, Dionne Warwick, Beethoven, and Britney Spears.

Sharon Osbourne:
There’s an old saying: "If mama’s not happy, nobody’s happy". A Libra woman knows how to perfectly balance her role as a consort, wife, and mother. Born on October 9th with 4 planets in the relationship-oriented sign of Libra, Sharon needs to be needed. But Sharon also needs to be truthful - especially with herself. Her Sun is a little more than a degree away from the planet of Karma, Saturn, and life has been tough for her. Her journey has been characterized by a constant "holding it together". Recently, the issue of weight itself has been correlated to the tendency to energetically "hold on to things", and that certain caretaker types find themselves more likely to be overweight. Constantly looking after her brood, Sharon has ballooned to 224lbs., yo-yo dieted like mad, and at times has had to chose between the love/ loyalty of two families. She has used her will and business acumen to mastermind and manage her husband’s career, run the house and raise her kids (all 4 of them). The planet Saturn demands that you deal with your issues. In the sign of Libra, one cannot expect to get away with ignoring any part of the equation, including one's own needs. Sharon is the astrological archetype of the woman who takes good care of everyone but numero uno; has sacrificed herself a bit too much, but more on this later. Both Sharon and Ozzy share the delicious sexually intense placement of Venus in Scorpio, and no doubt, it's very "hot" between them. They absolutely adore one another. Sharon shares her birthday with John Lennon, Jackson Browne, Alaistair Sim (Scrooge) and John Entwhistle.

Aimee Osbourne:
A Virgo with Moon in Cancer and Sagittarius rising, Aimee’s got her Virgo Sun and her Venus and Mars in Leo in the 8th house of secrets. She is private and a very powerful person, not one to air her dirty laundry in public. She is quite proud, and requires more control than the intruding TV cameras would permit. Her generational group (Pluto in Libra: 1971-83) will make a huge difference in the world in the arena of law, politics, and interpersonal relationships. Her life will change dramatically in 2003, when transiting Pluto goes over her Sagittarius ascendant, and ready or not, she will become far more visible. Not to worry, she will be more prepared for this than she thinks. The placement of Pluto in Libra is in contrast to the placement of Pluto in Scorpio of her younger siblings, Kelly and Jack. She is likely to express herself in a more refined way.

Kelly and Jack:
Are more similar than meets the eye. Both have the Sun, Pluto and Saturn in Scorpio, and each embodies the power, passion, and brute force of 15 Mafia Dons. Kelly even has the same birthday as the late John Gotti. Together, Kelly and Jack have enough combined strength to take over the world. In a way, we could say that they already have. There are some differences though: Kelly’s chart resonates strongly to Dad’s with her Mars and Jupiter in Capricorn conjoined his Mars and Jupiter, and Jack favors Mom’s with Mars and Venus in Libra. They seem to act out all that parents Ozzy and Sharon bury beneath their accepted roles of nurse/patient. The kids are voicing the real unspoken dialogues (Scorpios always do). Kelly’s chart is heavily concentrated. She will go through periods of being very public and then retreating for months on end to replenish herself. She has a sharp mind, an unbreakable will, and possesses all the potential of becoming a fine writer. She must, however, learn to take good care of her health and create good habits early or there could be problems later. She also has a natural talent for medicine and psychology and could easily find herself drawn to a healing profession. Jack on the other hand, may grow into a humanitarian of sorts and could find himself in the role of peacemaker. A secure home life is very important to him, and he really does not like to fight. He will always possess an unusual inner rhythm, and will tend toward going against the clock, keeping an odd schedule. (Kelly will do that as well). With stern Saturn in the 5th house of creative expression, he may go through periods of questioning his own talent. In fact, he is quite prolific, and his chart bares some similarities to that of director Steven Spielberg. He has the emotionally conservative and discerning placement of the moon in Virgo, and I’d bet that he feels quite close to his older sister Aimee. He relies on her, and I sense that some of the bickering that we have witnessed between him and Kelly has been magnified due to the lack of buffering by Aimee. Truth be told, once they get through their adolescence, Jack and Kelly could be the best of friends, and should seriously consider joining forces. Jack shares his birthday with Bonnie Rait, Bram Stoker, and another celebrity offspring, Christie Hefner (daughter of Playboy's Hugh Hefner).


:: A Look to Next Season ::

As of this writing, Mom Sharon has been diagnosed with colon cancer, which has spread some and is about to undergo 3 months of chemotherapy. The sign of Libra requires balance and truthfulness, and one is moved to question Sharon’s lifelong m.o.(habit) of placing everyone’s needs before her own. This sequence will surely bring a reversal of that. Without a precise birthtime, an outcome is impossible to predict (who would want to anyway?). But what is encouraging here, is her fixed T Square (a configuration that talks about mucho resistance and strength) between the planets Jupiter, Venus, and Pluto. She is resilient and has resistance to disease. She has made some bad choices though: The rubber-band surgery to drop 95 pounds probably just diverted the stress she's internalized toward a deadlier expression, and her combining that with the junk food and the added pressure of holding it together for the TV cameras, just possibly made her cave in.(Cancer has been linked to many things including genetic pre-disposition, bad diet, toxins in the environment, and other factors including rage and stress).

She and the whole family are brave to allow us to experience the next part of the journey complete with chemotherapy with them, and we will most likely see Aimee’s participation. Aimee’s presence is clearly indicated in the show debut chart of March 5. Virgos must serve when needed, they are among the finest health care practitioners, and Aimee’s Mars and Venus in Leo are priming themselves for the best moment to shine. This moment is on its way in late 2002 / early 2003! Viewers will admire her and will witness a different side of Ozzy, as he rises to the occasion and grows up some.

Jupiter will be in Leo from Aug 1 2002- Aug 27 2003, and responsible and honorable fatherhood will be in Vogue. Most importantly, we will watch the dynamics of the relationships change dramatically with Sharon voicing what she has kept hidden and silent. The transformation of the mother was clearly depicted in the March 5 chart for the first show, and the show is fulfilling its promise by letting us in to Sharon's ordeal. Jack and Kelly will be frightened and stressed, and we may see them crack. They will definitely show a more vulnerable, less spoiled and childlike side of themselves, which will be touching and endearing.

The Osbournes has all the potential of transforming big time both as a show and, more importantly, as a family during the second season. There are all of the markings of this media event starting out as one thing and becoming another. How they cope with fear and adversity will inspire, instruct, and shape the coping skills of millions. Sharon’s willingness to trace the possible underpinnings of this illness could help countless individuals in her position. Her ability to articulate her truth (Libra) could make her the true star of the family as she represents the voice of self-revelation and healing for a generation. And if Ozzy steps up to the plate, his metamorphosis into adulthood could enlighten men all over the world, and assist their growth in leaps and bounds.

Footnotes:
1. In an individual’s horoscope, the Saturn Return (29/30 years) represents a time of reckoning, an initiation into adulthood. The same could be said for the Saturn Return of anything

Shelley Ackerman is a freelance journalist and heads The NY Affiliate of The American Federation of Astrologers. On Saturday, April 5, she will conduct a full day Creative Astrology Workshop: Your Chart as A Work of Art. On Sunday, May 18 at 3 PM, she’ll be speaking at The NY Theosophical Society 240 East 53rd St in Manhattan on the transit of Mars in Pisces. Call 212-758-5521 for details.